Aww yeeeuhh that's right. You saw the title of this post and now you wanna know all the juicy secrets about the numerous females in my life. And let me assure you, there are numerous. Unfortunately for you, that's not what this post is about. Of course not, because Nate always writes about Christiany things and a post about girls would just make him out to be a douchebaggy loser who creeps on girls. That, my friend, is an incorrect assumption. But a correct assumption is that this post is about something Christiany. I apologize. And as much as I wish my bride could be this dimepiece:I actually have something important to say about her:No, that's not my Chinese school. It's my church! I know she ain't much to look at, but I still love her. But yeah, in the Bible the church is referred to as God's Bride. It's also called God's Body, and I was planning on making the title of this post something having to do with my body (maybe something like, Thoughts About My Body), but I didn't think that would be very tasteful. Anyways, I go to a church in San Francisco called First Chinese Baptist Church. Chinatown represent!
And let me start off by saying this: I love my church. But I have problems with it. And that's what I need to talk about. Writing about Fcbc is one of the reasons I wanted to make this blog. Doing something about Fcbc, however, is something that I need to do more than write about. But that's something that will take more work...
So the thing I love about Fcbc is the people. This is my family. Yes, we have cliques. Yes, we say mean things. Yes, I still avoid some people. But this is where God put me. But the thing that worries me about Fcbc is that no one is being challenged. Fcbc is a comfortable church that would never call anyone out or make someone rethink their faith. We love saying things like "read your Bible" and "spend time with God," but after almost 4 years of Sundays, I don't remember one single time that I left church changed. I don't remember any sermons. I don't remember ever feeling convicted to do anything for the sake of the gospel. As I'm learning more and more about who Jesus is from my own experiences and resources, I'm beginning to see that Jesus was not a comfortable person to be around. When I'm at church, I hear a message, but instead of hitting me hard like the Rock:the messages are more like Golddust:hahaha. Freakin hurt.
But for you non wwf kids, what I mean is that the messages at Fcbc are all so blah. There's nothing to wrestle with, nothing that convicts, challenges, or offends. I love our pastors, but I'm tired of all the sugar-coating. It makes everyone numb to what is supposed to be a transformative Word.
I'm not sure what I would think of Fcbc if I was visiting for the first time. I remember one service, (what I think was) a homeless guy came in and sat down. First of all, that kinda stuff NEVER happens at our church. But it did this one time. And I don't wanna assume things, but the lady sitting next to him (a very solid church member) stood up and moved... !!! Like wtf, right? I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of the gospel. Our youth service was cancelled and has now joined forces with our young adult/college service. I think it's because numbers were too low... Again, I don't wanna assume things, but I'm not so sure if our church is very open to newcomers. They just make us too... uncomfortable.
I am afraid that my friends at Fcbc, especially those who are younger, will get used to this idea of Christianity as something that can coexist easily with every other aspect of life and that will never challenge the way they live or think or act. I am afraid that Fcbc is giving off a false image of who God is, that he doesn't challenge us to live to a much higher standard. I do not see very much passion at Fcbc. And I don't think it's because there are no passionate people, but it's the fact that we're not seeing God move in our church because we won't take any risks for him.
Well, I'm afraid this post is getting into the realm of a complaining session rather than anything constructive. So, this is post is mainly for those of you to attend Fcbc. Please, I would love to hear from you. Agree? Disagree? I think you can leave a comment regardless of whether you have an account or not... And for those of you nonFcbc-ers who may be reading this, if you have something to say, please say it. I apologize if this was an annoying rant and if you found any of it offensive. But it's how I feel. Yee.
Lastly, I don't want to make it seem like I'm above any of this. My failings as a Christian far outweigh the failings of this church. But as God is transforming me, I expect the rest of the Body be transformed as well. I want to make a difference at Fcbc. Not sure how, but I want to. I'm not gonna leave, since this is my family. Dysfunctional, but still my family. That is all.