Sunday, April 26, 2009

I am God.

I like poetry. I am talented at poetry.

Is it cocky for me to say that? Maybe. I don't think humility means denying your own gifts and abilities though. I am made in the image of the Almighty; he's given me these particular gifts, as he has with everyone. To say that I am not talented insults the one who made me.

Nevertheless, being truthful about your gifts and talents is walking a fine line. When you know you're good at something, you begin to act like you deserve praise. That, my friends, is dangerous. I have definitely fallen into this trap, but I am making efforts to correct it.

A couple weeks ago, IV had an event called Exposed. I shared two poems. Yesterday, church had an event called Live in Harmony. I shared one poem. Exposed was ok (relatively) because one of the poems I shared dealt directly with this idea of pride and arrogance. At LIH, however, I was only able to share one poem, and this one did not address my cockiness.

Needless to say, after Live in Harmony, I was struck at how difficult it was not to become big-headed. If a gift God has given me results in praise for myself, should I use this gift at all? Am I just performing so that people will give me praise? Because if that's the case, why would I ever worship God if I am worthy of worship myself?

Jesus' parables say that our talents are not to be hidden. Agh... It's a tough balance. If I ever get cocky about stuff, please kick me in the nuts. Thanks.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Day 34. Reflections on a Failed Lent.

Feareth not! I have returned. The number you see up there is correct. I have missed 17 days of doing this whole blog in the mornings business. I apologize. I know you were intensely concerned for my well-being.

Well, now for an unnecessarily deep and profound spiritual reflection on Lent...
Not really.

In all seriousness though, I think I became wary of the fact that I was doing a devotion and then blogging about it... something didn't quite seem right. I think I rationalized it down to: well, Lent is definitely not about showing people your fast, so I shouldn't blog about my devos anymore. Yes, the blogging was a way for people to keep me accountable, but I guess it all kinda just fell to the wayside after I finished Psalm 86. Yes.

A lesser known part of my Lenten activity was my fast from NBA 2K9...
Yes, that has been quite the challenge. I decided to add 2k9 to my Lent list mostly because I was getting hecka pissed off every time I would lose to Sammy and his stupid abuse of Rashard Lewis' unrealistic 3-pt skillz. Ugh. Freakin gets me mad just thinking about it. Sammy, if you're reading this, let it be known to this blog-reading community of 3 people that you don't win because of superior skill. Only because you jack up hecka shots with Rashard until he gets on fire and sadl;kfj;asi. Dang... Well, as you can see, my 2k9 frustrations have led to the inadvertant expulsion of some unfortunate 4-letter words, which is why I felt compelled to fast. The end.

There are 6 days left of Lent. Here is the gameplan (if God's cool with it):
  • Wake up before class, read the Book, pray. No blogging.
  • Continue 2k9 fast. Own Sammy after Easter. No getting all pouty after a loss (which won't happen anyway)
That is all. I hope that your Lents have been more fruitful than mine. I have no continuing plan for blogging during the rest of Lent, though I'd like to be able to get to day 40 without anymore gaps, but whatevs if I don't. For those still toughin it out with fasts, keep it up. But don't make it a show. Holla!

Oh yee and shoutout to my boys at LT&C doin big thaangs. Hit em up for a chance to win.