I recently had my last Music27 class with Prof. Mathews. I havent been doing the reading for the class, and this last lecture was supposed to be a review, so i was there. And i was ready. I had my laptop out, ready to take notes (and check fantasy when he was saying irrelevant stuff) and i for sure wasnt even gonna fall asleep this time. But dang... this ended up being the worst lecture ever! Basically, what Prof. Mathews did was play a piece of music and then go into where we were sitting in the lecture hall and he freakin asked students! Like wtf, right? There's gotta be around 200 people in class and he's going around, climbing over chairs, sticking the mic in people's faces. All i wanted out of the lecture was... a lecture. And when i saw him asking for participation i was like,"Hells to the no, David Blaine!" I was thinking about boucin outta there reeeaaal quick. But then i remembered how ignorant i was in the subject of music, so i stayed. I freakin stayed. I swear, i have never been so uneasy in a lecture for the whole entire hour. It was terrible. EVERY single time he came up on the right side aisle of the lecture hall, my heart would start POUNDING. He went to the row in front of me and he went to the row behind me. I was scurred straight. I did not know any of the answers to the questions he was asking. I'm so thankful he didnt call on me.
After i got outta lecture, i was so relieved. Thankful that he didnt call on me and also that i got the notes that i needed. But it was an experience i did not want to relive.
Which got me thinking....
Is this how i live with God? Hoping, day after day, that he doesnt come around and see me, swimming--drowning--in my sin. Do i wake up everyday and say, "Dang i hope today isnt judgment day. Cuz if it is, then im freakin screwed!" What a terrible way to live. Yet theres so much crap in my life that i still cling on to. And i know if Christ himself were to walk into my room right now and look me in the eyes, i'd be scared to death. Just like if Prof. Mathews called on me in class, i'd be speechless. No answer, no excuse, no nothing. He might say, "Well, you havent done your reading, have you?" If my homeboy Jesus came around today, he might say, "Well, you dont really know me, do you?" I'd probably just give him a blank stare.
I gotta get things right. Music27, faith, life, whatever. I cant halfass my way through everything. David Blaine can turn orange soda into cheezits, but he cant get me into heaven. I got some thinking to do.