We Believe!

So in another tab I have my email open. I'm writing an email to my pastor. So far, I've typed out her (yee that's right, we have a female pastor. Whuh?) email address and the words, "Hey Chris" (yee that's right, she has a male name. Whuh?... jk it's really Christine, but we tight like that) and then I got writer's block. Or maybe it's my chronic pansynitis kicking in again.
See, I'm trying to arrange a meeting with her for this upcoming Sunday, maybe just to talk about some stuff about where the church is going and hopefully share some of my thoughts about the church. But every time I think about it, it's just like, wtheck am I really gonna say?? I mean, she's my pastor for goodness sake. "Oh hey Chris, I was just thinking the other day, 'Wow, our church is pretty wack! Don't you agree?'" I might as well slap her in the face and knock over all the papers on her desk.
And of course, I won't just leave it at that... "Oh our church sucks" because it really doesn't. But I just wanna induce some constructive discussion nahhmean? yafimme? Still though, I find it quite the arduous task to write her an email saying, "Oh I just have some concerns about the church." Like... who am I? Some college sophomore scrub jabroni who thinks he can make changes in this 120 year old church.
Anyways, hopefully by blogging about it, I'll have to finish the email, since I already wrote about it and it would be stupid to announce it to the whole world (or the 4 people who read this) and never do it. That would indeed be buffoonery.

Anyways, onto more pressing topics. That stupid email topic took up four short paragraphs. Emburressin... Stay with me though!
So I've ventured down the river from my Irresistible Revolution days and I am now swimming amidst the verbal waters of a literary genius by the name of Brother Yun. (dang that sentence was deep and metaphorical) And don't hate on Brother Yun because he has a foolish name. That's messed up. Actually, to correct myself, he is not a literary genuis. He's just your average Asian.His book that I'm trying to read right now is called The Heavenly Man. Again, I know it sounds stupid, but it's really interesting. A supposedly true story about the underground church in China during Mao's communist regime. The book. is. loaded. with. miracles! Of him having visions, having those visions fulfilled, him escaping the police, him scaling walls, running miles within minutes, the list goes on. And I'm only past the first 80 pages of this 350+pg book. Ridiculoso. Anyways, it got Nathan thinking, where are today's miracles?
I mentioned in an earlier post that Shane Claiborne's argument is that we really shelter ourselves from seeing any miracles because we rarely need them. Food, medicine, housing... these are all things we have easy access to without transcendental assistance. And plus, Jesus reprimands the people who ask for a miracle... But dang dude. I really wanna see a one. I really wanna have a vision from God.
So far in my life, I have only witnessed one miracle.And that was freakin glorious. But I want to see another one. This time, something more substantial maybe... Of course, I've had answered prayers. Big prayers, too, that seemed very very unlikely. And I will be one of those people who attest to the little miracles of everyday life. But you know what I mean though. I wanna see a big one. That I know was from God. Like if one day I woke up and was 5'11. Miracle. That would be awesome. Add that to the prayer request list.
Sometimes I just feel like we worship a shadow of the God we really profess to follow. We take so few risks that we can never really witness the power we claim him to possess and we can never truly know how wonderful and faithful our God is until we actually need to trust him.
I don't wanna assume anything about God, that he can work a miracle in this or that part of my life, but I do wanna pray big prayers and take risks for this God that I've heard so much about for the past five or so years. I wanna see and be a part of something amazing that God is doing. I wanna see people healed. I wanna see the Good News be good again. I wanna see nonbelievers seeing how crazy things are with those Jesus freaks... Is it ok for me to want these things? Maybe I'm just lacking faith. Maybe, like those people in the Gospels, I'm just begging for a miracle. Maybe Jesus is getting frustrated with me. Blessed are those who have not seen and still believe. Maybe I just wanna know who this real God is.
We worship a God that is capable of these things. I know he is. He's gotta be. I wanna know this God for who he is and not for who the church makes him out to be.
So what do you think? Do miracles still happen? Are there conditions where they happen more often?

modern day miracle?
http://www.shauninthecity.com/blog/2008/09/i-experienced-a.html

Reading is Sexy!

So I don't usually do this, but thanks to a certain cousin of mine (Ally, my real cousin), I am here giving a free promotion for The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. I was very hesitant to do this, mostly because I've been talking about this book a lot with a few people and I just feel lame for being so excited about a dumb book. But alas, I have given in. This book has changed too much about the way I understand who Jesus is and what the Gospel is all about for me to simply not share it with the world. So here it is, world! Here's my amazing book review! I better get comments! Jayplay, but frealfreals, this was a good book. And I think you should read it. But only after you comment on this (or any prior) post. Hollatchaboy!
So, where to start. Ah yes... I don't know. Well first of all, this book has really inspired me to get more involved with the homeless community in Berkeley. Not sure what that means or how that will look when I get back, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to consistently be a presence with the homeless at People's Park or maybe volunteer at a shelter or something. One of the lines that I remember most was one that basically said, miracles are more rare today because there is no need for them. We can go to Safeway to get food, we have a roof over our heads, we can just hit up the doctor if we get sick... Not to say that these things are bad, but they take away opportunities for God to actually show us that he can take care of us in amazing ways. So I dunno about you, but I want to see God work and do miracles.
Another thing about this book is that it has confirmed my frustrations with the Church. Claiborne is never antagonistic (as I have sometimes been) about the way things are done in the American church, but he is still critical of what the church has become. Like I was talking about two or three posts ago (Here Comes the Bride), church for me is all too safe, comfortable, and blah an experience. Claiborne argues for a church like the early church in Acts2, where possessions were shared and the followers of Christ "had everything in common"--struggles, joys, experiences, money, etc.--and where church was a place where crazy Jesus people met up to discuss the amazing things that God had done during the other six days of the week. One of the things that I'm afraid of for FCBC is that, especially with concerns over attendance and numbers, the goal for church service will become keeping the youth interested and entertained rather than challenged... On a side note, I have similar worries with Living Water, my church in Berkeley, that they are becoming a very "flashy" and charismatic church (we have almost doubled in size over the past year) rather than one that really challenges, though I have definitely felt more challenged and convicted there than at FCBC. Nonetheless, I have grown skeptical of growing churches and I hope that desire for truth will always trump a desire for more people. (I know no church is really "perfect" and I love complaining; I'm just pointing these things out)
Lastly, this book has made me think more about what I do with my money. This one is difficult, mostly because what I wear helps me be really really ridiculously good looking.Ha ha ha I'm jayplaying again. But in all seriousness, this book has challenged me to question where my clothes are being made, where the profits are going, and where the money can otherwise go. Should I just shop at American Apparel (expensive/for white people)? Should I just not buy anymore clothes (God forbid!)? Should I just donate all my clothes? Should I make my own clothes (sike!)? These are things that I've been thinking about lately.
So, as you can see, my life is kinda being rearranged. Thank you, Mr. Claiborne. I was pretty ok with the way things were going, but no, you had to freakin write an amazing book and change the way I see things. Great. Thanks... Nah, I'm only kidding Shane. Shaney Shane. Shayborne. Anyways, I wanna do something. I wanna respond. But the thing about me is that I always say that I'm gonna do something (work harder, get buff, do chores, learn how to write left-handed), and I can take a step out the door, but when it comes down to it, I get real scurred and I just run back to my safe little life, where I know the routine and where I don't have to take any major risks. But yo, I'm saying it now, I wanna make changes. In myself, in my church, in Berkeley, in this world. Join me, it would help me out a lot :)