real talk

im wondering why people blog. why we get tumblrs and facebooks and twitters and then complain about how much time we waste on it. i dont see how we could call it anything but addiction. addictions are escapes. we drink and smoke because we need to escape reality, escape the humdrum monotony of everyday life. we get addicted to things like warcraft or call of duty because we want to escape our irrelevancy. we want a world where we can be good at something, where we can make progress. isnt blogging or facebook or twitter just another form of escape? we want so badly to escape our loneliness. we want other people to know us, to know our thoughts, to know what we're doing, where we're eating, who we are. or at least who we present ourselves to be. i blog about the things i blog about because i want you to see me a certain way. blogging, facebook, and twitter, after all, are simply about creating an image for yourself. i have become addicted to image production. it helps me escape the fact that i am actually broken, inadequate, and needy when maybe the acknowledgement of these things is what i needed from the start.

i think it's a good thing that everyone and their moms is giving up facebook for lent. this is probably why the early monastic tradition is filled with solitude and silence. when you're by yourself with your own thoughts, there's no need for addiction. you can't run from anything. your entire self--brokenness and all--can only be repressed for so long when you dont have tv or internet to distract you. i think lent is a good time to get back to that.

Day 34. Reflections on a Failed Lent.

Feareth not! I have returned. The number you see up there is correct. I have missed 17 days of doing this whole blog in the mornings business. I apologize. I know you were intensely concerned for my well-being.

Well, now for an unnecessarily deep and profound spiritual reflection on Lent...
Not really.

In all seriousness though, I think I became wary of the fact that I was doing a devotion and then blogging about it... something didn't quite seem right. I think I rationalized it down to: well, Lent is definitely not about showing people your fast, so I shouldn't blog about my devos anymore. Yes, the blogging was a way for people to keep me accountable, but I guess it all kinda just fell to the wayside after I finished Psalm 86. Yes.

A lesser known part of my Lenten activity was my fast from NBA 2K9...
Yes, that has been quite the challenge. I decided to add 2k9 to my Lent list mostly because I was getting hecka pissed off every time I would lose to Sammy and his stupid abuse of Rashard Lewis' unrealistic 3-pt skillz. Ugh. Freakin gets me mad just thinking about it. Sammy, if you're reading this, let it be known to this blog-reading community of 3 people that you don't win because of superior skill. Only because you jack up hecka shots with Rashard until he gets on fire and sadl;kfj;asi. Dang... Well, as you can see, my 2k9 frustrations have led to the inadvertant expulsion of some unfortunate 4-letter words, which is why I felt compelled to fast. The end.

There are 6 days left of Lent. Here is the gameplan (if God's cool with it):

• Wake up before class, read the Book, pray. No blogging.
• Continue 2k9 fast. Own Sammy after Easter. No getting all pouty after a loss (which won't happen anyway)
  

That is all. I hope that your Lents have been more fruitful than mine. I have no continuing plan for blogging during the rest of Lent, though I'd like to be able to get to day 40 without anymore gaps, but whatevs if I don't. For those still toughin it out with fasts, keep it up. But don't make it a show. Holla!


Oh yee and shoutout to my boys at LT&C doin big thaangs. Hit em up for a chance to win.